Sometimes I feel I have a way to go with this one.
What I mean, is at times it still seems more ‘natural’ to give myself a hard time and stew over things (even teeny, inconsequential things), rather than figure out a way to improve the situation.
And at others, I’m more willing to be solution-orientated, or even simply let go and move on.
What I am grateful for however, is that the times of feeling stumped by the ‘stuff’ that comes up are fewer, and far between.
So my point here?
Being hard on ourselves is not something we generally like to talk about; although it’s something we all do. I believe it’s safe to say that you, like me, have read some ‘self-help’ books, and even ones that talk about various forms of ‘enlightenment’.
And good for us, because the first steps to creating anything new are to realize there’s something we’re ready to change. So we learn some empowering steps to take, and ways to handle the self-berating- reaction when it happens.
And then that something does happen, like I’m behind schedule for an appointment, and I find myself going to default-mode of telling myself off – as if being late makes me an inherently bad person.
My current point in my journey, is that I’m learning to have these harsh self-thoughts be a trigger for me to stop for a moment. To pause, put those thoughts to one side, feel any frustration I might feel, and then select 2 different thoughts that are more empowering – and likely more accurate.
Examples of more empowering replacement thoughts I pick might be –‘this was out of my hands because of unexpected traffic – even with the extra time I did allow for this trip, and I know that Liz will understand; I’ll let her know now.’
Or ‘this isn’t like me to be behind; it’s great I’ve learned from this, and I’ll plan differently next time.’
It’s been an eye opener for me in more ways than one, to be living in a new country, and be immersed in a new culture. Oh and of course a new language.
I’ve thought of myself as one who’s experienced a fair amount of personal development, and being in this new environment can feel like I’m beginning again, from ground zero!
So, it’s the ideal opportunity for me to be taking these daily steps of being gentler on myself when the unexpected things happen.
I believe the theory’s fab – although the experience is the gem that makes all the difference.
Take away – If being easier on yourself is a goal for you; check out the Recipe for Success blog – you may find it handy.
Fi Jamieson-Folland D.O, is a Lifestyle Consultant, with over 26 years experience in Europe, Asia and New Zealand as a qualified osteopath, educator, writer, certified raw vegan gluten-free chef, speaker and health mentor. She lives in NZ and Indonesia with her husband Chris, relishing an outdoor lifestyle and time with family and friends.